I waited patiently for the Lord;Psalm 40:1-2, NIV
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
It can be easy to write a “how to” guide when discussing mental health or trials in general. I am reminded that there is no “do this and all will be well”. I have crippling anxiety and ptsd. I want to fix it, but as we know it isn’t something that can always be fixed. You can:
- Eat the right foods
- Stay well hydrated
- Exercise // get your vitamin d
- Have a wonderful group of supportive friends
- Read your Bible and prayer regularly
- and… utilize medications and therapy
Yet, the anxiety is pressing harder on your broken spirit. I know, some of those tools could be better utilized. But, this is where I am these days. Stuck in this pit of despair, with an aching spirit. Each of us might have different mental health “triggers” – which is something that will cause your mental health to become even harder to handle. Whether it be grieving your loved one whose passed, that promotion you were passed over for, looking at how you haven’t exactly measured up according to social media, information overload from lack of mental and emotional rest, or something else completely.
I just want to come alongside you tonight, and say “I get it. I am here for you. I am praying.”
Being courageous in these moments can look much differently than the world’s expectations. Today, I had to rescheduled an appointment due to crippling anxiety. I just couldn’t convince myself to “push through it” like I used to be able to.
During college, I was blessed with friends who went with me as I grabbed lunch between classes – but it was a place where I could either eat or hide away. My version of “eating” at that time, which even now still amazes me that I had the courage to do even this, was buying a bag of chips. So early on, I figured out to buy my “lunch” at 7 in the morning – before anyone else was in the cafeteria.
Anxiety isn’t something we can push through. It is something we can only handle with the grace we show ourselves/others and through our relationship with our Savior Jesus Christ! Even these days if we are at a store, I will avoid saying I need something if it means exiting any fast.
As I face profound anxiety, I am reminded of my need for Jesus Christ – our Savior, His Word – the Bible, and a quiet space for prayer.
This is just a bit of my story, as I continue to face debilitating chronic and mental illness – and work through it for His glory.