It has been a while since I have enjoyed the grace of our “Impact” blog series. It offers just the questions I need to have, as I share what is going on with me.
Feeling – Lately, I have been really struggling (either from depression or weakness). I am finding myself in a deep depression, and it is just really hard. Even just going to church can just bring out the depression in intense levels. I am still holding onto the Lord, but this is hard. It is a hard, difficult, hurdle to try and walk through – especially as our weather moves into Summer. Recently I had a spinal MRI, and it might be bringing more answers than I expected. We might be looking at a cause for my weakness (spinal osteoarthritis). I am interested to see what my pain specialist says, but nervous as well. These things only add to the depression.
This is just my muddy place I am finding myself in – right now, and it’s okay to talk about them.
. . . And the Holy Spirit is making His presence known through this pain too. Always does.
Studying – The weakness makes Bible study interesting on some days, but when I can. . . This is how I am choosing to study.
I am revisiting a different way, in terms of how I study the Word of God. I have started back using the Interlinear Bible from Bible Study Tools. The other day, I took the Hebrew word for “satisfy,” and began looking at the different places where the word “Saba” is used.
God wants to satisfy us as His beloved people. It is about how I choose to come before Him and allow Him to meet me in the midst of my mess.
Reading – Right now, I think I am in the process of reading three books.
- Spoken For: Embracing Who You Are and Whose You Are (Robin Jones Gunn; Alyssa Joy Bethke)
- Made for His Pleasure (Alistair Begg)
- God’s Story, Your Story: When His Becomes Yours (Max Lucado)
I am walking around with a fourth – wanting to binge read it sometime soon. I Kissed a Lot of Frogs: But My Prince Still Hasn’t Come (Kathleen Hardaway) is actually only $2.98 on Amazon(third party seller) as of tonight. I loved it last time I read it, expect to this time as well.
Listening To – Currently, I am listening to my YouTube playlist. I listen to it often, and allow the words to just wash over my spirit.
Celebrating – the good things.
Praying – for many things.
Holding Onto – our sweet Savior Jesus.
Other Scriptures – I posted my index cards in my three “hot spots” the other day, so I am choosing to reread it when I can. I am choosing to focus on the NIV translation, so I can keep trying to memorize it. But, here it is in a different translation –
With every sun’s rising, surprise us with Your love, satisfy us with Your kindness. Then we will sing with joy and celebrate every day we are alive (Psalm 90:14, The Voice)
Okay dear friends, my arms are burning. Fairly edited and off it goes to reach you wherever you are. Stay encouraged wherever you are, and know our sweet Savior Jesus will meet you wherever you are too. If He can get Daniel’s friends through the fiery furnace, He can get us through this too.
Featured image is by Fachy Marin through Unspash.