2017 is already out to be an interesting, possibly intriguing, year. . .
A few weeks ago, I met my new primary care doctor. He ran the standard tests, when meeting a new patient. All was well. When they drew the blood, I was more worried about appointment I was going to end up running late for. Rather than the needle, blood, and impending results. During the test of waiting for the blood work to come back, anxiety plagued my heart. Remember, this is a normal set of blood work needed. Anxiety came, and came, and then the words: “There is something concerning on your blood test. We need to do more tests… specific tests to see what is wrong“. Went for one of the specific tests, and just got the online results about a week ago. Notice the sound of silence, other than crickets. The anxiety plaguing my heart, was apparently warranted. Something was indeed wrong.
When You Pray
I am blessed with Jesus loving friends, who take the time to pray for me. They pray fervently with their holy and sanctified hands raised toward our Maker in Heaven – as they call upon Jesus’ name. The peace I have had this past week, since finding out those dreaded results, has been a miracle in and of itself. There has been much more peace than I could expect any one of my friendly companions to have – if they were in my shoes.
This peace is the kind we are taught about in Philippians. “Peace that surpasses all understanding.” And, it is ours when we come to Jesus – our Risen King!
Even though I am waiting to see what my future entails, I am at peace about whatever may happen. . . Well, I was at peace. Until tonight. I had told a few people the specifics. Not many. Then tonight, I let out the secret in plan terms: “I started seeing a new primary, and we found something going on – which could potentially be very serious.” I have no problem asking for prayer in these prayer meetings. I have gone to them off-and-on for a really long time. It was not the asking, but the sharing. I can share difficult prayer requests for others, about things. But for me, clammy heart and a bit more than squirming.
The Faith Act
In those moments of preparing to make this announcement, I wandered and honestly tried to get out of it. But, I knew it was Holy Spirit led. I had to “let the cat out of the bag”. I had to share this prayer need, regardless of its difficulty. While I dreaded it, I shared. Then my anxious heart, really began to do summersaults. Telling my church family this piece of news, made it all real. My reality is real, and that is a scary thing.
Sharing this news is ridiculously scary and brought the reality to life for me. It reminded me that this prayer need is actually mandatory and it is me and Jesus facing this battle – even though I share with others. This valley of mine is: real. scary. Inescapable.
Scary. Real. Heart-wrenching, as the tears begin welling up – because this reality is real and might not disappear (I am not lacking faith, but aware of the various avenues God uses to lead His people).
Somehow, this endeavor is sanctifying. I have been thinking about that word, lately. Sanctifying. God consecrates His people, and makes us His own. We need to begin thinking about how God is going to sanctify us, even through trials (or plagues).
When God sanctifies us, as His beloved children, it is proof of His love and our relationship.
Feature image by Eric Ward.
Until next time,